A woman has divided opinions online after she told her husband that he needed to ‘get over’ his mother’s death.
The woman took to Reddit and explained that her mother-in-law passed away in a car accident and her husband struggled to deal with the loss.
“He developed really bad depression. I tried my best to stay strong for him and offer comfort whenever he needed it, but it has been so hard being his emotional crutch,” she wrote.
“Andy stayed at home all day, quit his job and barely paid attention to me. I had to pay all the bills,” the woman continued.
“Soon, I realized that our relationship was dying. Intimacy was long gone and Andy rarely talked to me.”
Hoping to save their marriage, the woman recommended he see a therapist but he firmly said no.
“It broke my heart to see the man I love fall to pieces.”
At one point, she returned from work and found trash where her husband was resting on the couch. But when she asked for him to clean it up because she was exhausted from work, he refused.
“Something just snapped in me, and I yelled ‘I think it’s time you get over your mom!’ Andy looked at me like I was crazy, and said ‘How could you say such a thing? My mother is not like some s**t ex, it’s my mother. And she’s dead.’
“I apologized, but told him to look at himself – no job, depressed, throwing away his life and relationship with his wife.
“He said ‘It’s already so hard, don’t make it harder. I don’t need you scolding me at the hardest point of my life!’ I tried to get my point across but he abruptly got mad – calling me a ‘f**king b**ch’ then left.”
People on Reddit were quick to share their thoughts on the matter, with many siding with her.
“What you said was inappropriate based on how it was worded and that you were feeling exhausted and overly emotional. That said, this man has refused to engage in any activities to help him heal from his loss making every aspect of your relationship with him fall to you,” one wrote.
“Of course, you’re tired, of course, you’re burnt out. You are his wife, not his maid, chef, bread-winner, bill payer, therapist, or any of the other responsibilities you’ve taken on.”
Another said: “I lost my mom unexpectedly last year. It is STILL hard. Every day. Grief is hard. It is really uncomfortable for others to see your grief, to stare at it every day while you struggle through it. My husband has been my rock. He has been my voice when I can’t bear talking to people on Mother’s Day, her birthday, my birthday. He has been my shoulder when I cry, and my ear when I just need to let it out.
“But he is NOT collateral damage. He still deserves to be loved and respected and treated like the rockstar he is. No amount of grief would excuse me being terrible to him. I can choose how much I suffer . I can pick myself up and make food, tend to my child, my husband, my job, myself.”
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